From The Album All I Ever Wanted (2010)
Lyrics by Mikel Jollett
All I Ever Wanted (Live)
I can only say these things to you while you’re sleeping. I hear the hum from the wires, and the sounds of the morning creep in. I lie awake and pretend you can hear me.
You tell me that you’re scared that you’re turning into your mother. I feel myself turning into my father. We could lie to each other like they do and say we’re so happy. It’s easy when you’re young and you still want it so badly. I turn over in bed and I feel my heart beating faster. I stare out the window and I think I might scream.
I can tell you that you’re all I’ve ever wanted, Dear. I can utter every word you’ve ever hoped to hear. I shudder when I think that I might not be here forever.
That time when we were alone together at the station. You were so quiet like a child and you told me you want to be taken. I just never thought of you as the kind of girl who would do that. You suddenly seemed like some faceless thing in my grasp.
And I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t find it exciting. Your eyes all wet, your face so warm and inviting.
I can tell that you’re all I’ve ever wanted, Dear. I can utter every word you’ve ever hoped to hear. I shudder when I think I might not be here forever. I could tell you that I’m always going to love you like that virgin bride you were that night, but I’d be lying. Love is defying.
And all I can think is that it must be a kind of rebellion — to arm these fears like soldiers and slay them.
I can tell you that you’re all I’ve ever wanted, Dear, through the din of your breathing while you’re sleeping here, and you wake and you ask me if I’m going to be here forever. Your face so twisted and your eyes alight, I want to tell you I can save you when you cry at night, but I’ll be trying. Love is defying. Won’t you stop crying?